↑ to the top

No. I'm not at all okay. Seriously, I doubt that I am. It's hard trying to make, or should I say, force myself from thinking about it. It's really hard. Forcing myself to act normal is hard as well. But that is the only thing I can do so as to not make anyone worry about me right? Maybe, maybe I guess. It's hard trying to prevent myself from thinking about it. The only thing I can do is to keep myself occupied at any point of time, so that my thoughts wouldn't wander. Seriously, I can't help but think if I had actually expected too much this this year, for there is only greater disappointment brought about by larger and higher expectations. Previously, I had anticipated this day so much. But now, I wanna stop counting down. Come to think of it now, it's pointless for me to continue counting down with all the great anticipation. Things won't happen according to what I had expected previously. So tell me, what's the point now to continue counting down? Seriously, the last thing I need to hear is to tell me to be happy, for I know that I can't and I won't be able to. That's it. In short, everything is just screwed up totally upside down now.