haven even study for the paper 1 for english and chinese...somehow think i will do damn badly this time round...its like i have already forgotten all the format and everything?!! wth..

lol. i dont even know what is tested lol.

i feel like a total failure right now seriously.

.....

haish...):

got some china people who came to my house suddenly just now to view my flat. wth.

then we called our agent who said that she didnt see that msg the other party's agent sent to her...

wth.

and now, my father just told me that we might not be able to move by the end of this year coz the dk what T.O.P thingy has not been given or whatsoever...

then he says maybe we can only move like next year round chinese new year?!! wth!! thats like even busier lahhs!!! stupid. =.=

kept on sneezing recently...

LOL.

think i caught yuenleng's flu bug...=.=

freak.

from yesternight already 开始觉得怪怪了。。。

no appetite to eat any dinner and hahas. --was feeling damn nauseous on the way back home in my father's car...

lol.

well.. and here i am today,sneezing non-stop and feeling damn tired...X.X

--though i slept for more than 10 hours in total.

dk why but just feeling damn tired recently.

coz of stress perhaps.

a lot of things are going on inside me which nobody knows at all.

no one has ever paid much attention to me after all...much to say that someone will even understand how i feel...

well...i guess that i will be just contented enough to have someone asking me occasionally is i am okay or if anything's wrong with me recently...

yeahhs. i would be contented enough just like that. coz at least you have tried...

HAH!...

i guess i'm just deceiving myself again...

they're just nothing but illusions and lies..

i'm just too naive at times...;fancy me deluding myself that there will be someone on Earth who understands me the most, to the extent that he/she will know what i am thinking of immediately without me having to even speak or perhaps, to the extent that he/she will know me even better than myself.

hah!!!

thats why i say that i'm just too naive and stupid afterall...

what's the point of pinning all my hopes on something that will not happen in this world?

i'll only end up getting disappointed and hurt.

there are nothing but lies in this world.

one moment someone can be good to you, and the moment you turned your back, there that person is,stabbing you in your back.

and its not that i don't want to believe you anymore.

its just that, you are the one who's making me waver ; losing all the faith and trust which i had in you, bit by bit.

and instead of me having to reflect always, why not you reflect on your own actions instead?

you said that i have hurt you.

but why can't you just think if you have ever not hurt me with your actions and words?

i bet that you would have never known that you are the one who has been hurting me more than i have instead.

no one really knows.

and even if they do, so what? whats the point if you yourself don't even know what you have done to me?

it's all pointless, isn't it?

you'll only make me feel like a joke through and through...

well. just a quick random post today cause its getting quite late now apparently.

well.

the holidays are gonna be over but how i wish it would be extended till forever.

hahas.jkjk.

of course i know that there can never be things that can last for forever in this world.

how i wish there will.

not to even mention about revision, i haven't even completed my hw yet.

damn xian totally.

everything got stuff need to do.

my sept holidays arent holidays at all.

just think--i have to go back to sch everyday for like hours...

then they whole day is like gone, for goodness sake?!!

right.

i have a bad feeling that im gonna do super badly for the eoys.

i really need some motivation right now.

im scared, and worried, that i wont be able to persist on and go any further from here.

im afraid that i will be the only one who's gonna be left behind, alone.

like i once mentioned before, i'm faltering; losing hope and faith, especially in myself...