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idk why.

but i think that i'll be crying to sleep the whole night today.
not that i want it.
its like, their decisions are hurting me in some way.
i dont know whether they knew about it a not..

but it seriously hurts right now.
they dont feel the pain like i do right now.
they wont know what awkwardness and embarrassment is like whatever the outcome is.
they wont know.
and i know that im not always the favourite choice among u all.
but its like, obvious that there'll be a change isn't it?
otherwise, why even make that stupid suggestion in the first placE?

why must u give me hope, and in the end, shatter everything in just a simple hint?
and once broken, its hard to restore everything back to its original position.


别再哭了; but my tears just keeps on falling.
what do you want me to do.
this time round, i dont think that im able to hide my unhappiness away anymore.
it'll be shown.
i know it from the bottom of my heart.
once the position changes, i guess, everything will be over.

it wont be the same like it used to be.
and its not that i'm __-hungry.
its just..
nobody will know how i'll feel.


i hate it the most when ppl makes either empty promises, or giving me false hope.
i'm just an ordinary person who'll get somewhat happy and excited at the thought of it.
but who are you to destroy everything in just a few words?
who are you to shatter my hopes.
who are you to decide on this without even giving me any chances?



i feel lost.
i know at this point, even though i wont say it to the whole world, i just wanna vent it out here.
i know i need consoles at this point of time.
i know that i need strength to face the upcoming dreadful decision.
i know that i need to have the courage.
i know that i have to have the belief and confidence in myself.

i know all these;
but who will ever help me in that sense?